I am in severe need of inspiration. I have lost all desire to attend/apply for college. I simply want a job and money. Sounds easy, immature, overly ambitious and ridiculous, right?
I honestly feel it's lack of inspiration. Also, I have this fear of not going to school since that's what everyone expects of me. Maybe I should take a year off, I wouldn't want to go into college feeling like, "Oh great, more school. I'll just force myself to do the work because I have to." That's not what college is about and I know it. If I don't want to be there, then why go? My family will be quick to show their doubts and disappointments in me, but as long as I can be happy, I don't mind.
This is what I want:
job
simple car
live with someone I know (either Ali, Vicky, Imena, or Mary)
fun
Not very ambitious, but I don't care. I'm dying for freedom that only comes with income.
......Okay. It's official. I've lost it.
My mom just came into my room, so I decided to talk to her about my problems for a little while. I basically started bawling because I'm concerned about how I'm going to pay taxes. Honestly, I fret about this all the time. Taxes scare me. Then I almost cried again because I'm worried about bills. How do you pay bills??!?!?! (Thankfully, my mom explained this process to me.)
HOLY CRAP I'M LOSING IT. I totally feel like I'm going to cry again. The world is so scary I don't know what to do. I don't want a career, I don't want to go to college, I just want a job and a place to stay and a car. Seriously I'm crazy.
Don't worry Zoreo. This same thing happened to me like the first week of school, except I wanted to drop out of high school.
ReplyDeleteYou will get out of this soon. And taking a year off college is probably the best idea for you right now. Or just going to Valencia for a little while.
Today I found out that pretty much anyone can go to a UCF party. I have the sole intention of going very soon. You will be accompanying me.
We can go into more depth at lunch.
Ily <3