I was content that I'd finally been able to post something meaningful. I felt fantastic almost. However the feeling was short lived. I'd been looking forward to this weekend as time I finally get to spend with my mom, without my sorry excuse for a step"father" tagging along, chattering along the way.
Forget all of this philosophical junk I've been trying to do. I like nice words but I can't express myself accurately. I'm enraged, I hate my this man. I will be referring to him as this/that man for the remainder of this blog and those to come. Now he's decided he wants to come along. My mom wants to include him in EVERYTHING. I don't care that it's my Abuela's birthday, he doesn't need to be there, I don't think she even gives a fuck about him. I was hoping we could leave early so I could attend a play, one of my friends went to acting camp this summer and I don't think any of her friends are going, so I wanted to show my support, bring her flowers or something. Now we have to wait for him to get out of work, so I will inevitably miss the play. I no longer have the desire to go to Tampa. I will not stay the night there and deal with their drunken, loud, partying. It will most likely end in tears as my cousin Kaitlen isn't there for moral support. This is bullshit, I can't believe it. She knows how much this kind of stuff means to me and if she doesn't by now she never will and I don't care and she can stay with him forever and forget me as I will forget her. Just like she did when she forced me to move up here and leave everything behind. I have trouble sharing and its been hard enough with him whining for her constant attention but I feel the same distress I felt before when the whole thing happened. It's painful I hate thinking about it. My chest hurts. This is all I have to say.
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